28th Dec/29th Dec.
It's been 2-3 days since the end of the last cosplay event[eoy09].
How do I feel? I've been feeling like what I felt directly after AFA, except that this time, it's been added with a sense of resignation.
At least the last time, I feel that I didn't have that much of a choice, so it may have been not so painful.
This time, I feel that there was somewhere in which more could have been done. As such, it was once again done to planning once again. I didn't measure before-hand the amount of fabric that was required for my cos.
As such, this resulted in me discovering at 3-4am on the 25th Dec that I didn't have enough of my fabric for me to finish up what I was supposed to do.
What am I supposed to feel now, you may say? Nothing right?
Perhaps. I do not know.
But instead of feeling nothing, I feel a sense of disappointment, of despair even, you may say.
It's more of like there's always this nagging thought process that goes through my mind that says : You could have done more sewing and drafting for your costume here, and you could have spent less time in the arcade, done more work when you had the time to do so, etc etc etc.. The list can still stretch on further, but you see where it leads to.
I feel now of more like... a sense of resignation, of almost being that I'm resigned to always being -- "In the process of " -- doing my costume.
But then, the fact is.. I have to go on. I've come thus far. Things have gone on long enough.
This all started during the Toycon/Coscon at Suntec, when I first saw the Renamon cosplay by Piggy. But where has it led me to?
As of now, as I look at my bed behind me, I see a head, a pair of wings, and a shirt-ish top of a suit. That's all. No pants, no feet, no tail.
There's still much to go on, my friend. There's still much that needs to be done.
There is no longer a deadline. I see no point in putting myself a deadline. All I can do to give myself the necessary motivation, is the simple fact that what I've started, I have to complete it..
Da's vidanya, comrade. Carpe Diem.
Alexander Tomas, signing off.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Ankle pain, and some thoughts on the way.
Last saturday, 27th June, I had fell down and hurt my ankle as I was at Orchard... As I fell down, I could hear a crack sound and I had thought then that I had broken something...
However, when I saw that I could still walk, it was a relief... However, the pain was still there..
Sigh... There's only one lesson that can be learnt from this.. Always watch where you are going and what you are stepping on. Never rush too quickly or rush to places...
On Sunday, my mum and I decided that I should go to a hospital to check if my leg was broken or not. Thus, we took at taxi straight from my home to the hospital... [Fyi- It was SGH.]
We took an X-ray from there... Luckily for me, I had no broken bones and such.. The doctor however, did give me a week of light duties and excuse boots.
On a side note, I have to say that it's been a long time since I actually had the time to sit down and actually blog anything. It's not that there's been nothing for me to blog about, but rather, I didn't feel like blogging at that particular moment...
Now, it's just that with my leg in bandages, [YES, bandages. compression bandages, to keep the swelling in check.]
There's also the thing that today is my turn to do I-net duty. [Sort of like being a clerk when you're supposed to man computers, that kind of thing..] Thus essentially just sitting at a desk for the whole day... It does take its toll on you.
Sigh.. There's just so much for me to say today that I doubt I'll finish in one post.
See you in the next post.
Daevian [2022]
However, when I saw that I could still walk, it was a relief... However, the pain was still there..
Sigh... There's only one lesson that can be learnt from this.. Always watch where you are going and what you are stepping on. Never rush too quickly or rush to places...
On Sunday, my mum and I decided that I should go to a hospital to check if my leg was broken or not. Thus, we took at taxi straight from my home to the hospital... [Fyi- It was SGH.]
We took an X-ray from there... Luckily for me, I had no broken bones and such.. The doctor however, did give me a week of light duties and excuse boots.
On a side note, I have to say that it's been a long time since I actually had the time to sit down and actually blog anything. It's not that there's been nothing for me to blog about, but rather, I didn't feel like blogging at that particular moment...
Now, it's just that with my leg in bandages, [YES, bandages. compression bandages, to keep the swelling in check.]
There's also the thing that today is my turn to do I-net duty. [Sort of like being a clerk when you're supposed to man computers, that kind of thing..] Thus essentially just sitting at a desk for the whole day... It does take its toll on you.
Sigh.. There's just so much for me to say today that I doubt I'll finish in one post.
See you in the next post.
Daevian [2022]
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Fever pitch. [Literally]
I just recovered from a 38 degrees C high fever.
There, I said it.
And wow... It's April already. I'm amazed.. This has been 3 months since I first thought about having this blog... I had no idea I would keep this up for that long...
It's been an interesting 3 months, but I must say that the most uneasy and difficult time for me had to have been the last few weeks... With all the things happening, the new shocks around each corner, sure gave me lots to think about....
And for the past 5 days That I've been at home, I've been thinking about a lot of stuff, other than just taking meds here and there, eating porridge for just about every meal [other than the occasional bread and some jam]...
Perhaps it's been a blessing in disguise, given that it's come so close after my latest setback, *coughkuroshitsujicough*.. I'd not like to elaborate... If anyone would like to know more, go do some research to the word, there's always google...
I really don't understand it...
Why is it that I'm still thinking about going back to cosplay, even after all that has happened to me back in the past? Isn't the past enough of a lesson to let you know that perhaps its time to call it quits? Must you let the past come back and bite you again for you to learn?
I really find myself a very contradicting and conflicting person... On the one hand, you've had bad experiences from people flaming in the past, and yet now, just because of the Workshop, you're back at it again? Is it worth it? Do you think you should have continued on?
I guess what B said was right, I really should first just sort out my life first before even thinking about continuing in cosplay or any other things. There are some things that are more important than cosplay. It's just a hobby. What more can I say? It's not like you can eat cosplay or earn a living with it, right?
How I wish I could earn a living with it here, but unfortunately, no I can't.
There's so much more to life than just your hobbies, my dear boy... You need to get this clear first... You can't possibly always expect someone to be around you to be there for you, you know? You have to be there for yourself... I hop you can get this straight...
I really need to start to think about what I want to do with my life for the future, and not just continue with life not knowing what you want to do... You can't live life aimlessly, otherwise, you'd be nothing more than a nomad, an aimless wanderer, never knowing what to do.
I really hope to get out of this kind of situation... This just can't go on like this...
I need help.
Daevian. [ 0102 /100409]
There, I said it.
And wow... It's April already. I'm amazed.. This has been 3 months since I first thought about having this blog... I had no idea I would keep this up for that long...
It's been an interesting 3 months, but I must say that the most uneasy and difficult time for me had to have been the last few weeks... With all the things happening, the new shocks around each corner, sure gave me lots to think about....
And for the past 5 days That I've been at home, I've been thinking about a lot of stuff, other than just taking meds here and there, eating porridge for just about every meal [other than the occasional bread and some jam]...
Perhaps it's been a blessing in disguise, given that it's come so close after my latest setback, *coughkuroshitsujicough*.. I'd not like to elaborate... If anyone would like to know more, go do some research to the word, there's always google...
I really don't understand it...
Why is it that I'm still thinking about going back to cosplay, even after all that has happened to me back in the past? Isn't the past enough of a lesson to let you know that perhaps its time to call it quits? Must you let the past come back and bite you again for you to learn?
I really find myself a very contradicting and conflicting person... On the one hand, you've had bad experiences from people flaming in the past, and yet now, just because of the Workshop, you're back at it again? Is it worth it? Do you think you should have continued on?
I guess what B said was right, I really should first just sort out my life first before even thinking about continuing in cosplay or any other things. There are some things that are more important than cosplay. It's just a hobby. What more can I say? It's not like you can eat cosplay or earn a living with it, right?
How I wish I could earn a living with it here, but unfortunately, no I can't.
There's so much more to life than just your hobbies, my dear boy... You need to get this clear first... You can't possibly always expect someone to be around you to be there for you, you know? You have to be there for yourself... I hop you can get this straight...
I really need to start to think about what I want to do with my life for the future, and not just continue with life not knowing what you want to do... You can't live life aimlessly, otherwise, you'd be nothing more than a nomad, an aimless wanderer, never knowing what to do.
I really hope to get out of this kind of situation... This just can't go on like this...
I need help.
Daevian. [ 0102 /100409]
Friday, February 20, 2009
Life and Desires
Ah well, how quickly time flies...
It has been 2 weeks plus since I last wrote a post here... Just thought of today as being a good time to keep you all up to date as to the stuff that's been happening so far...
Last weekend was when I had spent most of my money on some stuff which I would consider as an interesting investment -- A Psp.
Initially, I was quite happy as I had been saving up for it for quite some time, so I couldn't wait to like play it... I went over from place to get like the cable and stuff for me to be able to connect my psp to my computer, then for me to charge my psp...
But as I soon found out like the next day, it turns out that I would have to wait much longer to play my games....
As I loaded my psp with a .cso and an .iso game and tried to play them, I found out that they could not even be recognised by the psp at all as a valid file in a first place... It seemed very wierd, so I asked my friend, who had initially brought me to the shop to buy the psp, what was going on... He told me to show it to him the next day.
As I did show it to him the next day [Monday this week] , he saw my situation and decided to do some research for me...
As it turns out, my Psp was one of 2 models in which currently there is no possibility of running the *.cso and *.iso files, as it was made of a unique motherboard which makes it unable to be modified to play those files which I have just mentioned...
Thus, as of now, although I may have quite a few games of the type which I had initially hoped to play, now I am totally unable to play any of the games which I thought I could...
Sigh... It is a sad lesson to learn, and yet something we have to go through....
"It is important for us to do adequate planning and research beforehand, to save us the trouble and unfortunate consequnces that we have to face if we do not do enough or sufficient research...
So, we need to always remember that, no matter how well we may think that things are like... to your advantage initially, but as the situation slowly unfolds,what you desire to happen may not be the case, and that life has a different path for you...
Thus, may we come away from this with fresh knowledge of how to avoid this kind of thing from happening again."
The next time I post, I would like to share another incident that happened last week as well...
For now, good morning, and good night.
Daevian
It has been 2 weeks plus since I last wrote a post here... Just thought of today as being a good time to keep you all up to date as to the stuff that's been happening so far...
Last weekend was when I had spent most of my money on some stuff which I would consider as an interesting investment -- A Psp.
Initially, I was quite happy as I had been saving up for it for quite some time, so I couldn't wait to like play it... I went over from place to get like the cable and stuff for me to be able to connect my psp to my computer, then for me to charge my psp...
But as I soon found out like the next day, it turns out that I would have to wait much longer to play my games....
As I loaded my psp with a .cso and an .iso game and tried to play them, I found out that they could not even be recognised by the psp at all as a valid file in a first place... It seemed very wierd, so I asked my friend, who had initially brought me to the shop to buy the psp, what was going on... He told me to show it to him the next day.
As I did show it to him the next day [Monday this week] , he saw my situation and decided to do some research for me...
As it turns out, my Psp was one of 2 models in which currently there is no possibility of running the *.cso and *.iso files, as it was made of a unique motherboard which makes it unable to be modified to play those files which I have just mentioned...
Thus, as of now, although I may have quite a few games of the type which I had initially hoped to play, now I am totally unable to play any of the games which I thought I could...
Sigh... It is a sad lesson to learn, and yet something we have to go through....
"It is important for us to do adequate planning and research beforehand, to save us the trouble and unfortunate consequnces that we have to face if we do not do enough or sufficient research...
So, we need to always remember that, no matter how well we may think that things are like... to your advantage initially, but as the situation slowly unfolds,what you desire to happen may not be the case, and that life has a different path for you...
Thus, may we come away from this with fresh knowledge of how to avoid this kind of thing from happening again."
The next time I post, I would like to share another incident that happened last week as well...
For now, good morning, and good night.
Daevian
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Week One-- An interesting week, new lessons learnt.
Now is about 2 in the morning, so I guess I'll keep this short and to the point...
Heyo. It's been quite fast, a week, and yet, I've found it to be quite slow during certain intervals. How fascinating the way time travels relative to what you're doing...
Anyways, It's also been not an easy week to pass, given that on the 31st of Jan was the last day of my workshop...
Ah well, some might say that I should just leave it to the past, but to someone like me, I guess I tend to dwell on the past a little bit longer.... Thus currently, you can say that I'm still under what I would classify as: Post-Workshop Depression Syndrome.
It's more like a feeling of emptiness and loss, unsure of what to do to occupy your time.... The thing about it is that you just feel as tho you're stuck in Limbo, not sure what to do; seemingly stuck in the timeframe of the Workshop...
Sigh... I sincerely need to learn to occupy my time with more meaningful and fulfilling stuff...
I should just learn to relax and let things be... Things have always gotten out of hand when I let my emotions take over...
"I have gained more than has been lost, through experiences good and bad. May it be that through all that's said and done, that whatever which is learnt shall be with me, for more than the flickering of a flame in the wind..."
Good morning to all, for now I shall rest...
God bless...
Daevian.
Heyo. It's been quite fast, a week, and yet, I've found it to be quite slow during certain intervals. How fascinating the way time travels relative to what you're doing...
Anyways, It's also been not an easy week to pass, given that on the 31st of Jan was the last day of my workshop...
Ah well, some might say that I should just leave it to the past, but to someone like me, I guess I tend to dwell on the past a little bit longer.... Thus currently, you can say that I'm still under what I would classify as: Post-Workshop Depression Syndrome.
It's more like a feeling of emptiness and loss, unsure of what to do to occupy your time.... The thing about it is that you just feel as tho you're stuck in Limbo, not sure what to do; seemingly stuck in the timeframe of the Workshop...
Sigh... I sincerely need to learn to occupy my time with more meaningful and fulfilling stuff...
I should just learn to relax and let things be... Things have always gotten out of hand when I let my emotions take over...
"I have gained more than has been lost, through experiences good and bad. May it be that through all that's said and done, that whatever which is learnt shall be with me, for more than the flickering of a flame in the wind..."
Good morning to all, for now I shall rest...
God bless...
Daevian.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
New Year, New Blog.
It's been more than half a year since I last posted a blog post anywhere..
Hmpf.. It's been so long since I've felt the motivation to write anything or blog anything...
Who's to say that I may have been so preocupied with living that I've forgotten everything else?
Mother had once told me that I really need to stop being so preoccupied with the internet and the computer as such, for it would be to the detriment of my health... I guess I should heed her advice soon...
What a way to start a new blog, by first saying a belated Happy New Year and Happy Chinese New Year to everyone... I hope that the past month has been interesting for all of you, as it has been for me....
I guess the best way to start this would be to say that this is not my first blog... And i guess neither will it be my last.. Much has happened over the last few days that I feel that perhaps its time that I put them onto paper, or for this matter, written record.
I will just end this first post by saying,
"Welcome to my new home, for which my thoughts shall find refuge, and I shall find rest when I need to, like the Pensieve which we've always desired, and the Erised that we've all hoped to possess... "
God bless you all,
Daevian.
Hmpf.. It's been so long since I've felt the motivation to write anything or blog anything...
Who's to say that I may have been so preocupied with living that I've forgotten everything else?
Mother had once told me that I really need to stop being so preoccupied with the internet and the computer as such, for it would be to the detriment of my health... I guess I should heed her advice soon...
What a way to start a new blog, by first saying a belated Happy New Year and Happy Chinese New Year to everyone... I hope that the past month has been interesting for all of you, as it has been for me....
I guess the best way to start this would be to say that this is not my first blog... And i guess neither will it be my last.. Much has happened over the last few days that I feel that perhaps its time that I put them onto paper, or for this matter, written record.
I will just end this first post by saying,
"Welcome to my new home, for which my thoughts shall find refuge, and I shall find rest when I need to, like the Pensieve which we've always desired, and the Erised that we've all hoped to possess... "
God bless you all,
Daevian.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)