Post Event Syndrome

28th Dec/29th Dec.

It's been 2-3 days since the end of the last cosplay event[eoy09].
How do I feel? I've been feeling like what I felt directly after AFA, except that this time, it's been added with a sense of resignation.

At least the last time, I feel that I didn't have that much of a choice, so it may have been not so painful.

This time, I feel that there was somewhere in which more could have been done. As such, it was once again done to planning once again. I didn't measure before-hand the amount of fabric that was required for my cos.

As such, this resulted in me discovering at 3-4am on the 25th Dec that I didn't have enough of my fabric for me to finish up what I was supposed to do.

What am I supposed to feel now, you may say? Nothing right?
Perhaps. I do not know.
But instead of feeling nothing, I feel a sense of disappointment, of despair even, you may say.

It's more of like there's always this nagging thought process that goes through my mind that says : You could have done more sewing and drafting for your costume here, and you could have spent less time in the arcade, done more work when you had the time to do so, etc etc etc.. The list can still stretch on further, but you see where it leads to.

I feel now of more like... a sense of resignation, of almost being that I'm resigned to always being -- "In the process of " -- doing my costume.

But then, the fact is.. I have to go on. I've come thus far. Things have gone on long enough.

This all started during the Toycon/Coscon at Suntec, when I first saw the Renamon cosplay by Piggy. But where has it led me to?

As of now, as I look at my bed behind me, I see a head, a pair of wings, and a shirt-ish top of a suit. That's all. No pants, no feet, no tail.

There's still much to go on, my friend. There's still much that needs to be done.

There is no longer a deadline. I see no point in putting myself a deadline. All I can do to give myself the necessary motivation, is the simple fact that what I've started, I have to complete it..

Da's vidanya, comrade. Carpe Diem.

Alexander Tomas, signing off.